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Wedding Vow Tips + Alternatives

Do you keep pushing off writing your wedding vows? You aren't alone! Here are some tips and alternatives to consider when it comes to your wedding vows!


Different than traditional vows that involve simply repeating after the officiant, self-written vows are a popular way of making your ceremony very personable and intimate with your partner. But where do you start? What are some things that you can talk about? How long should they be? Here are some tips for writing your own wedding vows.

  1. Don't wait until the last minute! It is better to start the writing process at least a month prior to your wedding so you have plenty of time to thoughtfully figure out what you want to say.

  2. Buy a vow book and write down your thoughts or inspiration as they come. The more ideas you have, the easier writing them will be. Then, within the last week or two leading up to your wedding, compile them into your final vows.

  3. When starting your vows, talk about how much you love and care for your partner. Go beyond the simple “I love you” by expounding on the reasons why.

  4. Share personal/entertaining stories of your time together that led to this special day. These stories can be heartwarming or funny, completely up to you!

  5. Make personal and important promises to your partner, this is literally the definition of a vow so make it special!

  6. Think about how your partner makes you feel. What makes them special to you? Think about how you met and what made that moment significant to you? At what moment did you know they were your forever person?

  7. Look for inspiration in songs, poems, and movies. If you’re watching a romance movie and something inspires you, write it down!

  8. Read through your vows and make sure they aren't too long or repetitive. You want to make sure you don't lose the interest of your guests or cause your ceremony to run long. Try to make it short and sweet, but heartfelt and sentimental. Your vows should not be longer than 3 minutes.

  9. Practice reading your vows! Read your vows out loud and ask someone you trust to listen. This will help get some of the jitters out beforehand and also allow you to notice any possible revisions you want to make.

  10. Last, but not least, keep your vow’s a secret from your partner until your wedding day! Don’t take away from the magical moment on the big day.



If you or your partner don’t want to share vows in front of everyone during the ceremony, there are still beautiful options for you that are just as meaningful!

Reading vows or love letters during a first look or first touch is becoming more and more popular with couples. It is perfect for shyer couples and makes the reading even more intimate and sentimental.

Are you a songbird? Consider serenading your partner! It's a very unique and impactful vow alternative.

Consider using a unity ceremonial activity in addition to or in replacement of written vows. This could include candle lighting, sand pouring, or canvas painting. Each have their own unique elements but the same beautiful underlining message of two lives joining together in unity.


No matter what you decide, make sure it is from the heart and you are expressing your love for one another through whatever method speaks to you as a couple.


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